To My Student Who Thinks He Will Be Disowned If He Tells His Parents He Wants to Do Drag

after Laurie Uttich

I know your mom’s new boyfriend might call
it a “love tap” and think you’ll forget.

You’ll scroll Amazon on Chrome’s incognito mode
for lace fronts and look up YouTube tutorials on how
to cut them to your hairline.

You’ll stop in a Sephora somewhere far enough
that downtown looks like a storm
in your rearview; you’ll browse the face masks and hair gel.
But, honestly, just go to the Covergirl section and find yourself
a nice mascara and a shade of eye shadow that matches
your skin just enough to make it smooth.

I don’t know if it actually gets better. Really,
I don’t know. But there’s a crown somewhere
in your attic. Your mom put it in a box and labeled
it His and set it next to some Christmas lights.
And there. Did you see that? The way your face
changed when I mentioned somewhere safe?

Fear is funny. Think about it. I can’t go
to a club anymore. Or at least, I haven’t been
since. But maybe, if you ever perform,
can you let me know? I don’t want to promise
anything, but if I do show up, I’ll wear
your favorite color. Whatever name
you choose— Kelly? Nova? Vivienne?—
I will break my voice with it from the back
of the room. The stage lights will be so bright
that you won’t see anything else.